Videos
Coping with the Loss of a Parent
Diane's appearance on ABC affiliate KATU to discuss coping with the loss of a parent.
Life Lessons from the Dying
Diane's appearance on ABC affiliate KATU to discuss the lessons she learned from writing the book.
Articles
Ovarian cancer patients tell potent tales in book
by Holly Goodman, The Oregonian
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wilsonville author follows a group of women with cancer.
by Michelle Te, Wilsonvillle Spokesman
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Women diagnosed with a virulent form of cancer taught Wilsonville's Diane Dennis how to live. Even more, they taught the former nurse to go after her passions, to complete her own spiritual cycle.
That is what I will teach the world," said Dennis. "You have to find that one thing you have a desire to help the world with, and make a difference before it's too late."
Dennis spent the past three years chronicling the lives of sever women diagnosed with late stages of cancer. Of the eight women she followed most closely, only four are still living. Not all women had ovarian cancer, but all of them had been diagnosed with at least stage 3 cancer.
She recently published "The Hourglass," a self-help, spiritual journey memoir of how her time with this group of women changed, enlightened and inspired her to follow her own dreams.
"It was really because of my experience with them that I decided to become a life transition coach," she said.
It started about three years ago when Dennis, a marketing specialist, was asked to speak to a cancer support group within the Legacy Health System. She had been asked to help get the word out about the early signs and symptoms of ovarian cancer.
After her speech, she sat down and listened to the group of women. Each woman took a turn, telling her story.
"They talked about life, what they were going through, the stage of cancer they were diagnosed at," she said. "I sat there and thought, ‘this is so rich.' They were just sharing in such intimate ways. I was so amazed and impressed by their strength, resilience and support for one another."
While women with breast cancer get a lot of publicity, victims of ovarian cancer feel invisible and marginalized by the general public.
"It's presumed to be a middle-aged woman's disease," Dennis said. "Not enough attention is given to it. Most of the women were misdiagnosed at first. That was compelling."
Slightly overwhelmed by what she had witnessed, Dennis went home and pondered the experience. The next day she woke up with a mission: to follow this group of women on their journey through a devastating disease.
Over the course of the next year, she followed the lives of the women who came and went through the support group. Her book began to take shape as she focused on the bigger themes this experience presented. For privacy, she changed all of their names. Two of the women are fro Wilsonville.
"I thought I was going to write a book about women who are facing adversity," she said. "Instead, what I ended up was writing a book about how to live. If we could all live the way these women started to live after being given what was essentially a terminal diagnosis, it would make all of our lives so much richer. Those are the lessons in the book that they taught me."
One of Dennis' chapters is titled "boundaries," As a nurse, Dennis was taught how to detach herself emotionally from her patients so she could give them adequate care. As a writer, she often let those boundaries down.
"I kind of got blindsided by not being in the nurse role," she said. "They were so engaging and so interesting. We had coffee, lunch, group meetings. Somewhere, my healthy boundaries got pretty fuzzy."
At times, Dennis would find herself experiencing many of the same symptoms these women experienced. At one point, she even visited her own doctor, who recommended she be tested for ovarian cancer. The results were negative.
"I had to detach myself to make their story meaningful," she said. "I saw the way these people communicated, the love, the ego getting out of the way, telling the truth that they don't want to tell their family members."
They said humorous things like, "I don't buy green bananas anymore,"
And they told heart-wrenching truths that they were afraid to tell anyone else.
"It was so real and raw and honest," Dennis said. "You go to these meetings and then you go home to real life. You tell people you love them because you may not be here tomorrow to say it. You learn how to love and communicate and face your fears."